Sunday's drive up your blog… with Ramblin' Rooster

The official blog of RoosterEgg.com

Take It and RUN!

with 14 comments

I walking down the street today, minding my own business, looking for coins, cans, aluminum foil, energy bar wrappers and anything else that’s shiny when a stranger approached me.
I know what you’re saying, “Stranger Danger”, but honestly this stranger didn’t seem to be in any immediate danger, so I through caution to the wind.
However they did seem in a bad way.
The stranger, a woman, asked, “I’m so sorry to bother you, but I was wondering if you had a cell phone I could use? I need to call a tow truck, my car quit on me around the corner…”
I didn’t reply, I just reached in my pocket and handed her my phone.
“Oh thank you!” she exclaimed. She actually said thank you, (this is important because of what happens next). She takes my phone and bolts in a mad sprint.
I’m so shocked and stunned, that it takes a few seconds to give chase.
She whips the first left she can make down an alley, (smart move, except if you’re being chased in a movie) unfortunately this one is not a dead-end. Perhaps if I was meaning to rape, kill or rob her the alley would have had no way out. In effort to make some “Hollywood moments” I did shout out the occasional “Hey!” “Stop!” “Come back here!”. I was able to refrain from “Why you…”
Down the alley the thief took a left; up to the next street where she took another left; down to the next intersection taking another left and finally left down the alley. The cycle repeated over and over and it didn’t take long to realize that we were going in circles. Perhaps she was trying to wear me out. I thought of stopping and waiting for her to come around, but couldn’t take the chance that she might look behind her periodically to see if I’d “wised up” to her loop scheme. So ’round and ’round we went till eventually we turned to butter. Then my friend Sambo took that butter and put it on his flapjacks.
Epilogue: Who is long distance provider?

Egg On,

Ramblin’ Rooster

-Ramble me Rooster-

The answer to last week’s riddle was exactly, word for word what CLT said and so he is the winner, (along with Scott ’cause I love those who piggy-back). Your prize is a stack of Sambo’s famous flapjacks, (butter not provided).

Tonight’s riddle:

How do you slap a blonde without touching her?

Submit you’re answer as a comment for the chance to win fabulous make-believe prizes and come back next Sunday for the answer. Good luck!

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Written by Ramblin' Rooster

April 26, 2010 at 4:28 am

14 Responses

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  1. Hmmmm…Sprint?

    Michael

    April 26, 2010 at 4:41 am

  2. How about AT&T&T&T&T&T&T&T&T&T? The T stands for “turn”. Maybe she thought she was a Nascar driver?

    As for the Rooster Riddle… uh. tell her there’s a fly on her nose and she will slap herself?

    Claire Collins

    April 26, 2010 at 6:55 pm

    • Claire “T-Time” Collins, “to everything turn, turn, turn…” Maybe she was, that would explain needing to steal my phone; wait, no it doesn’t. Excellent answer.

      Ramblin' Rooster

      May 3, 2010 at 1:21 am

      • You never told us the real answer! But that’s ok. I’m happy with “excellent answer”.

        Claire Collins

        May 6, 2010 at 2:53 am

        • Claire Collins is dead, there is no REAL answer. This is a side of you I’ve never seen before.

          Ramblin' Rooster

          May 11, 2010 at 3:10 am

  3. Another good reason to carry a gun or at least a slingshot.

    Fundamental Jelly

    May 2, 2010 at 3:05 am

  4. This was a brilliant piece o literature Rooster; it reminded me of your early work with street people. Just brilliant I say.

    What I think you should have done is climbed the fire escape and waited for her to come around in the circle again. When you saw her below you then you could have thrown down a net or a net like device to capture her.

    For the riddle I’ll go with both Claire and Michael’s answers because that strategy seems to be working.

    Scott Oglesby

    May 2, 2010 at 8:06 am

    • Scott Oglesby, all good thoughts. I was going to go with the “tranq-dart” but I had a bad “sucking it back into my mouth experience” once. Always a good idea to piggyback, (‘specially ’round here).

      Ramblin' Rooster

      May 3, 2010 at 1:24 am

  5. And you’re riddle?? Well, I would just hire someone from the nail salon to slap her for me.

    Fundamental Jelly

    May 2, 2010 at 11:20 pm

    • Fundamental Jelly, gosh dang that’s good! I’d imagine you could find a lot of volunteers, (as in no need to pay) perhaps from a competing nail salon.

      Ramblin' Rooster

      May 3, 2010 at 1:25 am


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