Sunday's drive up your blog… with Ramblin' Rooster

The official blog of RoosterEgg.com

Archive for May 2010

Julia Roberts

with 6 comments

I’m in love with Julia Robert’s teeth.
I want to marry her left canine.
I’m unsure if marrying all her teeth would count as bigamy and I’m afraid to ask.
I’d polish and buff that beautiful tooth every four hours, (or as needed).
We’d walk the red carpet, (in my hallway, not Hollywood).
We’d laugh, we’d sing, we’d carry on all night long.
I’d be indifferent to all the stares and my lovely tooth-wife would be indifferent to all the stairs, (’cause she’d ride along in my breast pocket).
I guess that means I’d have to buy shirts that have a breast pocket.
Carrying her in my pants pocket is just a little too much, (if you know what I mean).
I don’t know… that right central incisor is pretty hot too.

Egg On,

Ramblin’ Rooster

-Ramble me Rooster-

The answer to last week’s riddle was Bob Reynolds, but it doesn’t matter now ’cause he was killed by the newly reformed ‘Avengers’. So CLT, (with that whop ’em answer) gets the fabulous vacation prize package worth over eight million dollars, (available right after the demurrage of “some” amount is secured, sorry no COD).

Tonight’s trivia question:

What is Norman Osborn’s hair suppose to be, seriously?

Submit you’re answer as a comment for the chance to win fabulous make-believe prizes and come back next Sunday for the answer. Good luck!

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Make Mine Menstrual

with 12 comments

I’ve never noticed it before, but why does menstrual start with MEN?
Anyway, I want to have a period.
I watch thirty-six hours of television a day and I see commercial after commercial with these young, hot, girls having the time of their life while menstruating.
Now I know you’re going to try and argue with me about the bloating, can’t fit into my jeans, sitting sad and lonely, looking off in the distance commercials, but let me say this,
those are the lies and deceptive techniques manufactured by evil pharmaceutical companies to try and make you think that having a period is uncomfortable and displeasurable.
But I know better, they just want to sell pills. I’ve seen the commercials, those girls are living the life I can only dream about.
There’s no limit to what they can do. I want to do a cartwheel on a boat off the coast of a beautiful beach after winning my cheerleading competition and dancing the night away on a mountain top that I parachuted in from a helicopter from outer space. Who wouldn’t? It’s awesome!

Egg On,

Ramblin’ Rooster

-Ramble me Rooster-

I’m totally torn about the winner tonight. CLT took it straight to the source, Claire “No More” Collins busted a personal side story, Scott dropped funny and FJ sparked love. So does everybody win? Sure, why not?! You all win a month’s supply of pads, (with or without wings).

Tonight’s trivia question:

Who is The Sentry’s alter ego?

Submit you’re answer as a comment for the chance to win fabulous make-believe prizes and come back next Sunday for the answer. Good luck!

Millionaire

with 13 comments

I was hanging out with my entrepreneur friend this weekend.
He’s infectious, always talking about this million dollar idea and that million dollar idea; “get rich or die trying”.
His energy and excitement for taking over the world just rubs off on you, like a homeless man brushing up against you on a subway.
It got me to thinking…
I have a million idea that I want to try. It’s called “Traveling at the Speed Light”. Wouldn’t that be fun?
It works like this: Get on an elevator, wait for the doors to close and push the floor that you are currently on, (ex. if you get on the elevator on the 4th floor, push four).
The result, you are instantly there! You just traveled at the speed of light!
That’d be $19.95 please.

Egg On,

Ramblin’ Rooster

-Ramble me Rooster-

The answer to last week’s riddle was exactly, word for word what Fundamental Jelly said, uncanny. Congratulations FJ, you win a gift certificate to your favorite nail salon. Parting gifts of Lee Press-On Nails for all those who turned your fabulous answers, but come on, FJ’s was just too funny.

Tonight’s riddle:

You hear growling, you see me put an uncooked steak in my pants, you see scratching, what’s in there?

Submit you’re answer as a comment for the chance to win fabulous make-believe prizes and come back next Sunday for the answer. Good luck!