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Posts Tagged ‘breaking up

No Wonder I Killed You

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Back in ’73 when I was a black ops agent, I use to do a lot of horrible things. Killing people was an everyday reality. Some days I’d stand in the shower for hours trying to wash the stench of blood from my soul. You can never get over taking someone’s life. All you can do is numb that part of your conscious that knows it’s wrong. You can never forget the screams…


Whoops sorry, this isn’t my blog. It’s chapter 158 of my new novel, “Cliché War Stories From Someone Who Never Went To War, But Loves Soldiers and Battle Scenes”. Sorry.


Anyway, have you ever run into an ex that became an ex because you couldn’t stand to be around them anymore? Was the break extremely nasty and filled with drama and fireworks so powerful that friends still remember it in detail and talk about it from time to time because it has “classic moments” like “she threw a chair through the window” and “he pulled a knife from behind the bar”? Have you ever ran into this ex and were forced to be in close, inescapable quarters like an elevator or a car? Has this time together been for extended periods of time that felt like years or even decades and fostered uncomfortable conversations that made you want to pull your fingernails off? Have any of these conversations picked up right were they left off years ago? Did you find yourself reliving a life you have since then wished had never happened, thinking to yourself “What’s wrong with this person” or “No amount of medication can fix this”? And at the end of all the misery and torture did you find yourself saying something that you didn’t mean like, “Yeah, I’m glad we finally worked this out” or “It is good that we figured out what went wrong” or “It was nice to see you too and yes, I think we could be friends again”?


Yeah, me neither.


Egg On!

Ramblin’ Rooster

Death, Taxes, and Monogamy

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You don’t have to be a marketing genius to know that sex sells. People like sex. It seems ridiculous to even have to say it. So why then, in a world of sex driven consumers, is monogamy such a huge practice?

At one time or another everyone has heard the statistic, “Half of all marriages end in divorce”. Let’s forget if it’s true or not, let’s just pretend it’s close. That’s a lot of divorcing. Why do think that is?

I don’t know either, but here’s my guess, fast-food. Did you just call me an idiot? Just give me a second to explain. American society/culture is fast-food. We like to have it fast, hot and cheap, with no mess to clean up. Plain and simple. Everyone wants to be rich, live in an awesome house, drive a fancy car, with free time to travel, indulge in recreational activities, be envied and most importantly be the object of desire. In return, no one wants to work. Seems balanced don’t it.

There’s only a few men out there that, if given a “free pass”, wouldn’t sleep with the dream girl of their choice, (which sadly is almost always a celebrity). These men are known as homosexuals. They’re not better than the other men, they’re just competing with the women for the dream guy of their choice. The point is, if consequence was not an issue and opportunity was present, monogamy wouldn’t exist. Now, you know how weak humans are, will power has never been a strong suit for Americans, so no wonder people are breaking hearts and ruining lives on the hour, every hour.

The reason monogamy exists is ego. People are selfish. You can’t help it. It’s the basic function of survival, “Get yours”. So when a human fancies something, they don’t want to share it. It doesn’t mean they themselves are satisfied, they just don’t want someone else to touch theirs.

Relationships always start out great, but the magic never lasts. It’s impossible. It really shouldn’t have to. If you really want to practice monogamy and take a relationship “the distance”, you have to tone it down, pace yourself. Courting is hard work. Saying the right things, opening doors, getting flowers, writing notes/letters, planning surprises, getting the right gifts, holding in gas, etc. takes a lot of energy. No one can keep that up for 40, 50 years. When the going gets tough, the tough getting going. Unfortunately it’s out the door, never to come back.

Monogamy won’t go away. The earth will never be one, big, “swingers party” and that’s probably for the best, (can’t imagine what comes after HIV). But this is the number one reason why all humans are crazy. They set themselves up for it. Wanting two conflicting things is beyond unachievable, it’s the path to psychosis. If you want to have sex with everyone you can on the planet, best of luck to you, but please never enter into a relationship. Never lead someone on to believing the opposite, tell them lies or give them false hope of a future that will never happen.

All I can say, is that at some point you’re gonna wake up to find yourself a shell of a person. You sacrificed beauty for vanity and missed out on one of the best things in life. A relationship.

By the way, get away from my hen house.

Egg On!

Ramblin’ Rooster

Written by Ramblin' Rooster

October 17, 2008 at 4:27 am