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Posts Tagged ‘cell phone

Old Man Cell Phone

with 6 comments

I love my dad. He’s one cool cat. He’s the kind of guy that made all my friends say, “Your dad is so cool” when I was kid. It’s in this love that I find so many wonderful quirks to poke fun at. Here are but a few.


He recently got a cell phone at age 69. Way to break the cliché of old dog new tricks. Be sure you keep it on you at all times in case you fall and “can’t get up”. Let’s just hope you don’t fall on the phone and break it under your hip.


Even though the only calls he receives are from solicitors, the only calls he makes are to order pizza and everyone he knows and loves is dead the man still got a cell phone. Yet, he decided to keep his land line. Why? His response, “I do some of my banking on the phone and I don’t want people to snatch my account information out of the air.” Excellent point, (note to self, start snatching bank information out of the air).


Since having the phone I have never once been able to get a hold of him on it. I’ve called it like two hundred and eighty seven times, but no luck. He called me today and I missed the call by three milliseconds. I immediately returned his call and again was unsuccessful in getting in contact with him.


I once left a message for him on the cell and called four days later to ask why he never called me back. His response, (you guessed it right) “I don’t know how to get my messages.”


My favorite goes to the “you hang up first” game. Unlike when you’re on the phone with your “new love” we aren’t saying “I love yous” and asking that the other one hang up first. Instead we say goodbye and I don’t hang up. I like to listen to him fumble around for ten minutes or so looking for the “off button”. Sometimes he’ll even start talking to his cats or my mother. I always like to hear him reiterate whatever I just said to him on the phone, (just to see if he got it right). Sometimes he just tell it to thin air.


I don’t feel bad for poking fun, because I know if I get to that ripe age I’ll be just the same.


Egg On!

Ramblin’ Rooster


Written by Ramblin' Rooster

May 21, 2009 at 4:26 am

Cell Phone Debacle

with 4 comments

When I’m not busy being a full time idiot, I volunteer part time as a crazy person.

Are you old enough to remember a time before cell phones? How ’bout cordless phones? How ’bout push button phones? How ’bout rotary phones? OK, I’ll admit I don’t remember a time before rotary phones, but they seem like they’re from a time that has long since past. For those of you who are without the warmth and knowledge of a world without cell phones, there was actually a time when people answered their phone.

Yes, you read that right. Before cell phones and the dawn of the electronic revolution people actually answered their phone. Why? Because it was exciting! You had no idea who was on the other end of the line. If it was a prank call you had no choice but to be a victim. Weren’t those the days?

I like to imagine the pioneer of cell phone invention was standing by a lake or stream somewhere, fishing perhaps, maybe on vacation with the family. The scene is like a coffee commercial, with breath taking mountains, amazing autumn colors and of course shinning white teeth smiles all around. Everyone is happy and having the time of their life, when suddenly, as our future genius and multi-gazillionaire casts the rod, a vision, a voice, a sign, the light bulb explodes and they say to themselves, “You know what would be awesome? Is if someone could call me right now and ruin this.” So they dropped their fishing pole, left the family in the tent, drove all the way back to the city, locked themselves in their lab and proceeded to invent the cellular demon.

Why don’t they ever have news coverage on cell phones giving your brain cancer or giant head tumors anymore? There was a time you couldn’t turn on the TV without seeing a special report about it. Perhaps in fifty years they’ll be a slew of ads, much like the ‘Truth’ anti-smoking campaign, where hip, young teens will come up with fun and nutty ways to divulge the cover ups, evil practices, and hidden/adulterated scientific research from “Big Cellular Companies”.

What I find odd about cell phones is the technology associated with them. The phone I have has a MP3 player, (never use it) Bluetooth capability, (never use it) a camera that takes pictures with a quality equal to if I had my cat make a rending of the scene, much like a courtroom artist and a lot of other things that I don’t even know what they’re for. What kills me is, that I used these features to help me pick this phone over the others. I don’t want these features because they help me, I want them because they’re cool, but they don’t make me cool, ’cause nobody cares. Now days, everybody and their dog has a cell phone, yet it seems like it’s impossible to get ahold of most people on them. We want to be in touch, but never be bothered.

Honestly, I don’t care much about cell phones. I like having mine in case I need it and it has come in handy at times, but I’m not going to pretend that I couldn’t live without it. I won’t make light of the people who are oblivious to basic phone etiquette or the countless number of people who have almost killed me whilst driving, because you know who you are and your time is going to come.

My only real complaint is those of you out there who have the “classic” bell-ringer as your ring style. Please go somewhere and die. Retro technology might be cool if certain areas, like vintage clothes or guitar amplifiers, but not in obnoxious noises. When your phone rings, I think to myself, “I bet prison isn’t as bad as they make it out to be. I just need a good lawyer, besides, this would be my first murder.”

By the way, I want a new cell phone. One that I can blog on and has a toaster.

Egg On!

Ramblin’ Rooster

Written by Ramblin' Rooster

October 30, 2008 at 4:39 am