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Old Man Cell Phone

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I love my dad. He’s one cool cat. He’s the kind of guy that made all my friends say, “Your dad is so cool” when I was kid. It’s in this love that I find so many wonderful quirks to poke fun at. Here are but a few.


He recently got a cell phone at age 69. Way to break the cliché of old dog new tricks. Be sure you keep it on you at all times in case you fall and “can’t get up”. Let’s just hope you don’t fall on the phone and break it under your hip.


Even though the only calls he receives are from solicitors, the only calls he makes are to order pizza and everyone he knows and loves is dead the man still got a cell phone. Yet, he decided to keep his land line. Why? His response, “I do some of my banking on the phone and I don’t want people to snatch my account information out of the air.” Excellent point, (note to self, start snatching bank information out of the air).


Since having the phone I have never once been able to get a hold of him on it. I’ve called it like two hundred and eighty seven times, but no luck. He called me today and I missed the call by three milliseconds. I immediately returned his call and again was unsuccessful in getting in contact with him.


I once left a message for him on the cell and called four days later to ask why he never called me back. His response, (you guessed it right) “I don’t know how to get my messages.”


My favorite goes to the “you hang up first” game. Unlike when you’re on the phone with your “new love” we aren’t saying “I love yous” and asking that the other one hang up first. Instead we say goodbye and I don’t hang up. I like to listen to him fumble around for ten minutes or so looking for the “off button”. Sometimes he’ll even start talking to his cats or my mother. I always like to hear him reiterate whatever I just said to him on the phone, (just to see if he got it right). Sometimes he just tell it to thin air.


I don’t feel bad for poking fun, because I know if I get to that ripe age I’ll be just the same.


Egg On!

Ramblin’ Rooster

Written by Ramblin' Rooster

May 21, 2009 at 4:26 am