Sunday's drive up your blog… with Ramblin' Rooster

The official blog of RoosterEgg.com

Posts Tagged ‘dogs

Bacon & Dogs, Dogs & Bacon

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I’ve been watching television again. I learned that dogs love bacon. They think about it all the time and would quite possibly stab you in the throat to get a piece, (if they could wield a knife). I would think dogs wouldn’t like bacon because it’s not very meaty and it’s very greasy. What? Yes, I do like bacon, but what’s that have to do with… Oh, I get it. If I like bacon why wouldn’t a dog love it? I knew those commercials couldn’t be wrong.

 

Prior to viewing the commercial, I didn’t know dogs loved bacon. Someone obviously did know that dogs love bacon and they decided to capitalize on it. First they spent a lot of time in a laboratory figuring out how to make bacon out of something other than bacon. It had to look like bacon, didn’t have to smell like it, which is odd because a dogs scene of smell far outweighs his sight, but as we all know dogs don’t do the buying of snacks, owners do. So as long as it looked like bacon, owners were up for buying it.

 

Next they had to sell the fake bacon to dog owners. This was easy. Just tell us dogs love bacon. Then we’ll know this and have to buy it. We couldn’t deny our furry friends that to which they love.

 

In the commercial they claim that “dogs don’t know it’s not bacon”. I for one disagree. I think dogs are fully aware that it’s not bacon. I think they couldn’t care less if it is or isn’t. It’s a break from their dry, boring, “bowl food”. It could be fake Brussels sprouts for all they cared.

 

Furthermore, why would anyone want to convenience their pet of a lie? What kind of a weirdo thinks they have to be dishonest and cheat their pet? It’s a treat. Why are you pretending it’s something it’s not?

 

That would be like me saying, “Readers don’t know this blog is over.”

 

Egg On!

Ramblin’ Rooster

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Written by Ramblin' Rooster

May 4, 2009 at 3:08 am

Big Dogs and Small Dogs

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I don’t know where you stand as a pet owner. Perhaps you hate animals or you are a cat lover. If either of these is the case, you can forget about wanting to read this blog, because this is all about the canine. More importantly it’s a look at the difference between the two versions. Don’t get mixed up in the breeds, because that’s just a flavor. When it comes to dogs, you only have big ones and small ones.

 

I’ve been around dogs my whole life. I feel like I’ve been around every breed there is. I was the teenager who’d bring home every stray I found and would find it a home. I’d take a dog to the emergency vet if I saw it get hit by a car while out driving and then follow up at the pound to make sure it wasn’t put to sleep. I’d even adopt it if I had to. In my early twenties I took several years off from ownership after a couple of traumatic experiences, but now I’m bad in the saddle again.

 

Big dogs are awesome. They have a certain stability and reliability that can’t be explained. They’re like a rock, (in fear of sounding trite). You don’t worry about them or look around in fear of killing them on your way to the kitchen by stepping on them. You can get rough with your big dog; get into some good old fashion wrestling, mimicking pop culture that displays a dog and a boy as inseparable. I like dogs so big that you want to ride them like ponies, big dogs that knock over furniture with their tails and big dogs that sound like wild animals that can kill you when their running in the dark across leaf covered yards. Big dogs are scary, whether they’re mean or not. If you round a corner and see a big dog standing there with no leash, the first thing a person thinks is, “Uh-Oh”.

 

Little dogs are totally different. You don’t have a little dog for any other reason than you wanted a baby, but settled on a dog. Every little dog’s name is “cutie” and none of them have ever heard any human speak to them without the grotesque sound of “baby talk”. Little dogs wear clothes and are carried in bags. Little dogs are more of an accessory than a pet. You don’t play fetch, catch or wrestle with your little dog. Instead you have fashion shows and look at it while you think to yourself, “How precious”. Everything a little dog does it precious. When they yawn, bark, jump, poop or beg, it’s precious. Little dogs lay on your lap, lay on your stomach or on your shoulder. Little dogs don’t ever want to do anything but lay on your and eat “special treats”. If your wife wants a fur coat, just get her ten little dogs.

 

No matter what kind of dog you have, one thing is for sure. Dogs are made up of two elements. Recycled babies and left over angels.

 

Egg On!

Ramblin’ Rooster

Written by Ramblin' Rooster

March 8, 2009 at 3:32 am