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Neck Pubes Disgusting Beyond Words

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In case it’s not obvious to you what the title of this blog is about, let me clarify for you. Neck pubes are the hairs that are well below any facial or beard hairs and have migrated or somehow relocated from the chest. Neck pubes are the little hairs that curl out from the top of a shirt or grow from the level of where the collar of a dress shirt would be.


There is no doubt that you know or have seen someone that has been a carrier of the “neck pubes”. Perhaps you are even the person that people know or have seen. In any case, the neck pubes are the most horrifying of all the male body hair. I’d rather sleep on the hairiest of all hairy backs than be subjected to the sneaky neck pubes creeping out from under a shirt.


Much like the sexist pig male, whose eyes wander to cleavage, I find it impossible to look the person in the eyes who is sporting the neck pubes. I can’t take my eyes off the unsightly, grotesque, inhuman, mutation. Those hairs are like tractor beams. Anything that comes out of the person’s mouth sounds like the adults from the ‘Peanuts’ cartoons.


All I can think about are those evil hairs. How did they get there? Why are they crawling out of his shirt? What do they want? Do they need to be feed? Is this man part gorilla? Perhaps he doesn’t have any mirrors in his house? I wonder if he’d get mad if I knocked him out and shaved his lower neck.


I guess some women, (and I guess men) might enjoy a nice hair chest, but shouldn’t it stay on the chest? I’ve never heard anyone state that they like a man with a nice hairy neck. It’s like a year ‘round scarf. It’s like their smuggling shag carpet. It’s like their trying to sneak a cat or dog into somewhere under their shirt. I can’t stand it.


At this point you might be wondering why I’m so overly concerned and give such energy to the hate of the neck pubes. The truth is I’m one of these despicable creatures.


I’ve covered in feathers from head to claw.


Egg On!

Ramblin’ Rooster

Written by Ramblin' Rooster

February 12, 2009 at 5:05 am