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Posts Tagged ‘LSD

Havoc Ensues

with 2 comments

This is part three of an ongoing series.

Please read: Part 1-I Fell Down and Hit My Head and Part 2-Revenge Set For Picnic.

The story so far: Being made fun of at work by my co-workers after I was victimized by an office prank/accident, I got angry and sought revenge by dosing everyone at the company picnic with LSD laced brownies.

 

Have you ever had that moment when the thought crosses your mind, “I should have thought this through a little more”? I was still about an hour away from that. As my co-workers inhaled the brownies and I waited patiently, counting the seconds for something to happen, Amanda came over to talk to me. It was uncommon for anyone to ever seek out conversation involving me, but Amanda was like having a rock star play your birthday party. She sat down by me and said, “I heard you brought the brownies.” “Yep” I replied. “They kind of tasted funny” she stated as matter of fact. “It sure didn’t seem that way when you were stuffing your face” I said to myself. “I mean they were good,” she babbled, as though she was aware of how she must have sounded right then, “I didn’t mean funny bad. I guess I’m just use to my mom’s recipe. She uses all white flour and only the egg yolks. I think she might add a dab of sour cream, but it’s been awhile since…” Amanda rattled on and on. I found it difficult to even pretend I was listening. Eventually I gave up and just stared off in space, but this didn’t seem to deter her at all. Her incessant yakking almost made me forget what was happening until she uttered the phrase, “Is it hot in here to you?” Followed by, “I’m burning up. Did you hear that? What was that? What’s wrong with my voice? Are the lights flickering?” She stood up and walked off. Even with the psycho-hallucinogenic in her blood stream, Amanda was back to normal in the fact that I was unimportant and invisible.

 

After she was gone I looked around the room. Several of my peers were suffering from the same “heat issues” as Amanda. Everyone except Dave and Paul were fighting the effects of the brownies, desperately trying to understand the changes going on around them, clutching at excuses and reasoning as to why they felt the way they did. On the opposite end of the spectrum, Dave and Paul were starting to take off their clothes. Both of them were giggling and acting as though they were having a pretty good time. After Paul got down to his boxers, he began dipping his hands into the Jell-O salad and rubbing it on his face and chest. Dave was dancing in the middle of the room in his tighty-whiteys, despite there being no music. I don’t know if seeing Dave and Paul gave the others the reassurance they needed to accept what was happening to them to be “OK” or if seeing the two of them enjoying themselves was just inspiration, but the party really started to get moving.

 

At this point everyone was pretty much “trippin’-balls”. Several people were dancing, a food fight had broken out, someone was working the light switch to give the room a strobe effect, one lady sat on the floor crying, a couple of guys were dry humping various items of furniture, and Sam from maintenance was making balloon animals. Where he got the balloons is a total mystery.

 

This wasn’t just entertaining, it was the perfect revenge. I had gotten these people like no one had ever done before. They’d never be able to get me back. Who could top this? Best of all it seemed like no was even concerned about what was going on or who caused it.

 

I sat back and interlaced my fingers as I placed my hands behind my head. Ironically it was at that very moment the police showed up.

 

(to be continued tomorrow)

 

Egg On!

Ramblin’ Rooster

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Written by Ramblin' Rooster

April 24, 2009 at 6:04 am

Revenge Set For Picnic

with 2 comments

This is part two of an ongoing story. Please read ‘I Fell Down and Hit My Head’ prior to reading this, (if you haven’t already).

 

I was a victim. I fell down and hit my head on a banana peel. A banana peel, for crying in the night! It was probably put there on purpose by on of my co-workers. Probably that bitch Sally. She and I have never gotten along, but it doesn’t matter who it was. Not really. My evil wheels have been churning all night and I have an idea about how to get even with all of them.

 

Not just any old idea, but a diabolical, rudimentary and simplistic plan of evil and chaos. A plan of secrecy, a plan that is sneaky, something that they’ll never be prepared for, something so perfect they won’t know what even hit them until it’s too late. It’s going to be awesome.

 

The company picnic is coming up in three weeks. Everyone is supposed to bring a main course, side dish, dessert of beverage. Everyone of course opts for the two liter so they don’t have to bring anything. Every year is the same, a store bought tub of potato salad, one of baked beans, couple bags of chips, a bucket of fried chicken, mashed potatoes and 37 two liters of diet soda. I hate diet pop by the way.

 

So I figured I’d make brownies. Everyone in my office is a whore for chocolate. They’d stab their mother in the eye to lick the bottom of the pan. I know if I bring a consumable of this nature they’ll be no one able to resist partaking. I’d better make a double batch. The only thing I’m not telling you is that I’m going to mix my batter with a generous portion of LSD.

 

THE DAY OF THE PICNIC

 

I’m terribly nervous. I can’t tell if it’s because of the anticipation of what I hope will be major human fireworks or the fact that I can’t wait to see these people freak out. This is my silly way of saying I want to see my plan in action! I put my brownies down on the table and went off in the corner by myself to wait it out.

 

Just as I expected, my fellow employees swarmed the deliciously moist fudge squares without even pretending to eat a main course. You’d think that chocolate was the only thing that kept them alive. Everyone scarfed down my brownies with some folks helping themselves to second and thirds, everyone except Mike that is. He’s diabetic, but come to think of it he’s never done wrong by me, so I guess it’s good he’s being spared.

 

Thirty minutes after the feeding frenzy, the show started to begin.

 

(to be continued tomorrow)

 

Egg On!

Ramblin’ Rooster

Written by Ramblin' Rooster

April 23, 2009 at 4:59 am