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Posts Tagged ‘pouring on the charm wiping it off with a towel

Employee of the Year

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As you may or may not know, or more appropriately, couldn’t care less, I returned to smoking.

Before you call me names or cut me down citing my weakness, I didn’t return to the cloud because of an addiction to nicotine. No, I returned to meet interesting people who share in the disgusting habit.

Much like men in a locker room who feel open and free to divulge sexual escapades or views of racial discord, smokers feel as though you are “one of them” as thus can speak freely to you as if to say, “You and I are on a level to which I will talk and never stop even if you try to walk away”.

Recently just such an “instant friend” struck up a lighthearted conversation that yielded wonderful and interesting gems like, “We just got bought by some company out of Ireland, which I didn’t think was possible because we’re so big. They must have paid some serious money, ‘cause we’re such a large firm. I can’t even imagine what they must have paid. We’re huge!” I remember this not only for the fact that it was like listening to a robot stuck on a loop, but also because he revisited this “fact” several times during his monologue.

Let us not forget the average cigarette break is five minutes. This man said these lines eleven times. Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

Now I love my company as much as the next guy. OK, that’s not true, but even if I did, where does bragging rights come into play about the size of a company you work for? This guy was definitely not “upper crust”. He was a grunt just like the rest of us. I’ve never encountered someone who wanted to brag about the size of his employer.

I never thought I’d miss nor long for the topic of “threesomes” or “excessive drinking” to rear it’s ugly head. Even a good, “I’m well endowed” would have been acceptable.

So for all you braggarts out there, please try to stick to the classics.

Egg On!

Ramblin’ Rooster

—Riddle Me Rooster—

The answer to last week’s riddle was “two lips, (tulips)”, hilarious. Those who answered correctly will receive a copy of, “Let Me Do It To You” the unauthorized biography of 1930’s adult film star Halmertz Kippermanstein.

Tonight’s riddle:

How does a boat show affection?

Submit you’re answer as a comment for the chance to win fabulous make-believe prizes and come back next Sunday for the answer. Good luck!