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Was Today April Fool’s Day?

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I’ll admit I’m not much of a prankster. In fact I’m kind of a huge baby when it comes to falling victim to practical jokes. Come to think of it, I’m not sure I’ve ever really had anyone pull a “real” practical joke on me. I think the closest thing is hiding in the closet to scare me or something along those lines.


So I was a little taken back, by the disappointment I felt, that April Fool’s Day came and went without even a hint of presence. The only person that even mentioned it to me was my wife this morning when I got up. She gave me a brand new toothbrush and said, “Happy April Fool’s Day”. I kept asking her things like, “Does it shock you?” “Does it stain your teeth black?” Does it leave a bad taste in your mouth?” Her answer to all my questions was, “No.” So I opened it and brushed my teeth with it. Sure enough, she was telling the truth, it was just a regular, old toothbrush.


As I drove to work I kept thinking, “Is my wife secretly an alien that has just come to this planet and is unfamiliar with the custom of April Fool’s Day?” As hard as I tried, I couldn’t convince myself of the fact.


All day long at work I kept waiting for someone to do something to somebody, anybody, but it never happened. No one even mentioned it, nor told a story of a “great prank for years past”. My boss came in today with a “pinched neck”. He kept walking around the office as though he was wearing an invisible neck brace, never once turning his head. Plus he was kind of lopsided because of the “pinch”. I kept laughing at him all day, every time I saw him and of course was anticipating the big, “April Fool’s Day” to come spilling out of his mouth. It never did. Quittin’ time came and the day was gone. April Fool’s was dead as far as all my co-workers were concerned.


After work it was off to the comic book store, (it’s Wednesday, new comic book day of course. Not to mention Previews day as well!). I figured I’d get something there, if nothing else an old standard like, “Books didn’t come in today” or “Your total is $11,543.72”. Again, it was as though the world had skipped over the “fool”.


Where did the love go for the fool? This world is full of them. Most days I think that not a single one of us is free from being included in “a world full of fools”. Yet, we’d ignore the day to celebrate our “fooldom”? What’s that? Fool… as in trick? Oh, yeah, I guess that makes sense. I got confused there for a minute.


So Happy April Fool’s Day! E-mail me your address and my wife will send you a toothbrush.


Egg On!

Ramblin’ Rooster

Written by Ramblin' Rooster

April 2, 2009 at 4:39 am

Messin’ With My Boss

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As I mentioned before, I have one of those “cool bosses”. He has a really good sense of humor and allows me to mess with him in ways that are completely inappropriate. Sadly, screwing with him and playing pranks is the only part of my job that I like.


I realize that when it comes to practical jokes, it’s somewhat difficult to share them with other people. They just don’t seem that funny when you’re telling “what you did” to somebody. It’s too personal and too much of an “inside joke”, so I’ll spare you the long list of horrible things I’ve done to him. In the same breath I will give you a list of some disgusting jokes I subjected him to.


A few months ago I took a picture of my boss. I told him it was to show to my wife since I talk about him so much she wanted to know what he looked like, (always appeal to the ego when lying, if applicable). Of course all I really wanted was a picture of his face to do my evil deeds with.


My boss keeps a desk calendar by his computer, so I thought it would be funny to make my own calendar pages and insert them on every “Monday” page. So I made little pages that had his face on them with a caption or quote above it. The following is a list of those captions or quotes.


OK, I started to type them out, but they’re just too disgusting and the list if frightfully long, like 37 gay innuendos, (and that’s just too much). I will share my favorite though, just so you can get a taste of it. Now imagine a smiling face, just a head floating on a piece of paper with the words above it, “Veteran Spelunker of the Man Cave”.


I don’t know, maybe I should have just kept this to myself.


Egg On!

Ramblin’ Rooster

Written by Ramblin' Rooster

February 18, 2009 at 4:02 am

If You Liked Revolving Door, You’ll Love Automatic Door

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This is a pseudo follow up to the piece I had about having fun in the revolving door. Whereas I stand by the statements I made, there is one door that is much more fun to play with. It would be the automatic door. Just so we’re clear, (or if you’d like to argue my name for it) the automatic door is the one usually found at grocery stores, where a person steps on the mat and the door opens automatically.

Quick disclaimer: These information is based on experiences had long ago. No one should try this at home. What’s that? Your home doesn’t have an automatic door? Well then you should try in a public place.

OK, so now that I’m liable and the lawsuits are piling up before this is even published, let’s go over the steps.

Step 1 – Pick a store that you don’t frequent and could accept being banned from.

Step 2 – Enter the store during a time that seems somewhere in between “the rush” and the time of “no one around”. (Note: You need innocent people to make this work)

Step 3 – Buy something at the store. People seem to pay less attention when you’re spending money and you’ll have a greater chance of being let go with a “firm talking to” if you were to caught.

Step 4 – On your way out the automatic door, pretend you’re stretching, yawning or just plain reach above your head. Above the door is a box, on the box is a switch, this switch controls the door’s power. Flip the switch.

Step 5 – Leave the immediate area, but stay within viewing sight of the door. If you’re a smoker, this is an excellent time to light up. If you’re not, pretend you’re on the phone, or as though you’re going over your receipt, (I like to add a confused face to drive home the impression I’m stupid and incapable of doing mischievous acts)

Step 6 – Stand and watch the people try to leave through the non-operable door.

Step 7 – Enjoy.

It really is amazing. Some people freak out and go to another door, thinking this one is broken. Others will get mad and push the door open. Some will walk into it. A few people will actually report the problem to an employee. It’s good fun, not too harmful and best of all it’s FREE. I guess you might be able to call it vandalism, but I bet you’d have a hard time getting a conviction in court.

Anyway, gotta a run. I’m late for a meeting with my parole officer.

Egg On!

Ramblin’ Rooster

Written by Ramblin' Rooster

October 15, 2008 at 4:07 am