Sunday's drive up your blog… with Ramblin' Rooster

The official blog of RoosterEgg.com

Posts Tagged ‘relationships

Not Love Just Alliance

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I don’t believe in love.

Having added the period at the end of that sentence, it officially makes me a hypocrite, because I tell my family I love them all the time. I even drop the “L Word” on silly, insignificant things like, “I love that movie” or “I love caramel covered nut bars”.

Truth is, I still don’t believe in love, even though I use the word. I use the word because it’s accepted everywhere and it expresses the point I’m trying to make fast and with ease. Nobody is confused by saying, “I love you”. They might be confused if your actions don’t match your words, but I don’t remember ever hearing someone say, “They told me that they loved me. What do you think they meant by that?”

I think about love a lot. What does it mean, where does it come from, why is it here? I also think about it a lot when it comes to relationships, since 113% of pop culture is based on “boy meets girl” or “boy sleeps with girl’s cousin, while girl is sleeping with boy’s best friend”. It makes you wonder what’s going on with all of us. The divorce rate is outstandingly high, but yet some couples make it through the test of time, which leaves the rest of us wondering why and how.

This is why I don’t believe in love, I believe in alliances. That’s what makes relationships last. I don’t think it has to do with opposites attracting, things in common, similar backgrounds, identical political party affiliation, religious denomination, or economic standards. It’s all just an alliance you make with another person. It’s finding someone that you know has your back or your best interests at heart, (in the long run). They might hate your velvet Elvis painting, or forget your birthday or even make you feel stupid at a party in front of your friends, but that doesn’t mean they’re not on your side. It just means they’re human and humans are kind of insane. That’s why it’s so important to find one that you can form an alliance with, because it’s you against the world! I know, I know, easier said than done, but then again if you weren’t looking for love you might find an ally.

As far as love and your family, well you just have to love your family, especially your kids.

And puppies are quite loveable.

Egg On!

Ramblin’ Rooster

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Written by Ramblin' Rooster

January 9, 2009 at 6:21 am

Sex Yourself?

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If you hang out on the planet long enough, you’re bound to cross paths with someone who doesn’t like you or you’ll end up doing something that makes someone angry. It’s just par for the course. Quite likely you have already had this experience. Perhaps some of you even experience this on a daily basis. In this life, it’s hard to avoid being told by someone, at one time or another, in so many words of less, to “Go f#ck yourself!”

It’s impossible to venture a guess as to what your response was, but did you ever consider it? Now, I’m talking in a hypothetical, science fiction, type way. Not some bizarre, neck breaking, ropes and pulleys, thank-goodness-those-yoga-classes-finally-paid-off, kind of way.

Seriously, after you get done flushing and rinsing the vomit from your mouth, ask yourself, “Would I be happy in a relationship with myself?”

Imagine dating a clone of yourself, (of the opposite sex for those to which it applies. Although, if you were sleeping with your same-sex clone, would that be considered gay? That’s a subject for a different blog.) Try to think about it with a totally open mind. Pretend like it’s OK to think of crazy things. The fact that it’s impossible should keep those of you who are scared to try it at bay. It’s an interesting thing to think about, because once you get over the “weirdness” of it, it can be a truly deep insight to who you really are and quite possibly help you make a more informed relationship decision in the future, (providing that you are still on the market, as they say).

Here are some questions to consider:

1. Would you be happy or would you be bored? Do you think the two of you would get along great, or get on each others nerves. Do you like for your mate to like what you like or do you thrive on conflict and confrontation? Do you like to come up with ideas of what to do, or do you like to choose from a list that the other one provides?

2.  Would you fall into the same pitfalls and shortcomings as in your previous relationships? For example, if you are one who has a hard time expressing yourself and sharing, do you think you could tell yourself how you really feel? Could you trust yourself more? Would you risk more for yourself, go out on a limb more? Would you take greater chances?

3. Would the sex be great? Would you be uninhibited and wild, living out every fantasy you’ve ever had or would it be predictable, monotonous, dull and bland? How much control do you have? Do you want? Do you need? Are you the one who asks or do you need to be told? Would you be uncomfortable being naked in front of yourself?

4. Would you ultimately become bored once the “honeymoon” was over? Would you start to analyze, scrutinize, become critical and find faults in yourself that you never knew were there or aren’t really even there to begin with?

5. Would you cheat on yourself? Would you lie to yourself? Would you hide things from yourself?

You can get as deep as you want to go, don’t be afraid, it can be very therapeutic. Or it can make you remove all the mirrors in your house and force you to sit in the corner, rocking back and forth, eating pancake mix out of a box with a turkey baster, rubbing a toilet bowl brush on your head.

If you have ever seen those movies that deal in the subject of clones, who start to become their “own person” as time passes, because they’re living a different life now from yours, with different experiences and you want to try to integratethat into your fantasy equation, please feel free.

So the next time some one says, “Go f#ck yourself!”, just smile and say, “If I only I could, if only I could.”

Egg On!

Ramblin’ Rooster

Written by Ramblin' Rooster

October 22, 2008 at 4:16 am

Death, Taxes, and Monogamy

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You don’t have to be a marketing genius to know that sex sells. People like sex. It seems ridiculous to even have to say it. So why then, in a world of sex driven consumers, is monogamy such a huge practice?

At one time or another everyone has heard the statistic, “Half of all marriages end in divorce”. Let’s forget if it’s true or not, let’s just pretend it’s close. That’s a lot of divorcing. Why do think that is?

I don’t know either, but here’s my guess, fast-food. Did you just call me an idiot? Just give me a second to explain. American society/culture is fast-food. We like to have it fast, hot and cheap, with no mess to clean up. Plain and simple. Everyone wants to be rich, live in an awesome house, drive a fancy car, with free time to travel, indulge in recreational activities, be envied and most importantly be the object of desire. In return, no one wants to work. Seems balanced don’t it.

There’s only a few men out there that, if given a “free pass”, wouldn’t sleep with the dream girl of their choice, (which sadly is almost always a celebrity). These men are known as homosexuals. They’re not better than the other men, they’re just competing with the women for the dream guy of their choice. The point is, if consequence was not an issue and opportunity was present, monogamy wouldn’t exist. Now, you know how weak humans are, will power has never been a strong suit for Americans, so no wonder people are breaking hearts and ruining lives on the hour, every hour.

The reason monogamy exists is ego. People are selfish. You can’t help it. It’s the basic function of survival, “Get yours”. So when a human fancies something, they don’t want to share it. It doesn’t mean they themselves are satisfied, they just don’t want someone else to touch theirs.

Relationships always start out great, but the magic never lasts. It’s impossible. It really shouldn’t have to. If you really want to practice monogamy and take a relationship “the distance”, you have to tone it down, pace yourself. Courting is hard work. Saying the right things, opening doors, getting flowers, writing notes/letters, planning surprises, getting the right gifts, holding in gas, etc. takes a lot of energy. No one can keep that up for 40, 50 years. When the going gets tough, the tough getting going. Unfortunately it’s out the door, never to come back.

Monogamy won’t go away. The earth will never be one, big, “swingers party” and that’s probably for the best, (can’t imagine what comes after HIV). But this is the number one reason why all humans are crazy. They set themselves up for it. Wanting two conflicting things is beyond unachievable, it’s the path to psychosis. If you want to have sex with everyone you can on the planet, best of luck to you, but please never enter into a relationship. Never lead someone on to believing the opposite, tell them lies or give them false hope of a future that will never happen.

All I can say, is that at some point you’re gonna wake up to find yourself a shell of a person. You sacrificed beauty for vanity and missed out on one of the best things in life. A relationship.

By the way, get away from my hen house.

Egg On!

Ramblin’ Rooster

Written by Ramblin' Rooster

October 17, 2008 at 4:27 am