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Posts Tagged ‘smokin’

Smoke ’em If Ya Got ’em

with 6 comments

Every good smoker needs a collection of butts

Cigarettes are like prostitutes; despite the fact that you have to pay to get them it doesn’t take away from the pleasure of the experience. Smoking is like the best way to waste your money and life. You could argue that skydiving or nuclear research would be more note worthy, but then you probably don’t smoke. Being addicted to something that kills you is like saying to the Angel of Death, “Hey man, I don’t care. Haunt me all you want, I’m doing this for you.”

It's always good to have some light reading when smoking

I read in a medical journal the other day that smoking really isn’t that bad for you; it’s horrible. I don’t understand why though…  inhaling carcinogens doesn’t really seem like such a bad method of breathing. I inhale all kinds of toxic things everyday; car exhaust, factory smoke, gas fumes filling up the car, burning plastic, John’s aftershave.

Nothing's more sad than an empty ashtray

Smoking sure is cool. I can’t think of anybody that smokes that isn’t cool, well isn’t cool because they smoke. A lot of people who are terrible and despicable smoke, but not because they smoke. Non-smokers lack that coolness, you know that says, “Hey look, I’m slowly killing myself and I wear a leather jacket.”

She's got a sweet ash!

Sometimes when I’m smoking I think about my daughter visiting my coffin at my funeral. I think about missing her graduation or her wedding or holding my grand kids. Then I think, “Mmmm, that’s good.”

Cigarettes are expensive, but if I didn’t spend the money on cigarettes I’d be smoking twice as much crack and that couldn’t be good.

The thing about smoking, the thing you have to remember, is that respiratory illness is fun. Plus it opens you up to meeting all kinds of potential hot nurses.

Egg On,

Ramblin’ Rooster

-Ramble me Rooster-

The answer to last week’s riddle was, “Because if they dropped them, they’d break.” Which is pretty much what everybody said, so everybody wins tickets to the Superbowl!

Tonight’s riddle:

When do you put pickles in door?

Submit you’re answer as a comment for the chance to win fabulous make-believe prizes and come back next Sunday for the answer. Good luck!

Written by Ramblin' Rooster

February 8, 2010 at 3:39 am