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Change Your Perspective, Change Your Life

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If you think about it, life is nothing more than one big mind trip, (which we will discuss in depth, in tomorrow’s blog). Perspective is one of the key elements in changing the world you live in.

I’m not much of a reader. I read somewhere between thirty to forty comics books a week, an occasional newspaper or magazine and every once in a blue moon an actual book. One of the books I was made to read back in my “school days” was ‘To Kill A Mockingbird’, (on a side note I once knew a girl that thought the title was Tequila Mockingbird, which sounds kind of delicious). I liked the story, but the part that stuck with me most, (for those of you half way through the book or who are planning on reading it soon, you’ll want to skip this paragraph) was the ending, where Scout is standing on Boo Radley’s porch seeing the neighborhood in a way she had never seen it before. The impact was significant because the truth of changing your “scenery” can be tremendous.

While I was still a bachelor, I had a rather large coffee table and a four foot diameter poker table in my living room. I also had two chairs that I placed on top of the tables and this was all the furniture I had in the room. Sitting on top of tables, although sounds silly perhaps, was amazingly entertaining. The whole room looked and felt different, not to mention the looks and comments from visitors. Something so small and seemingly insignificant had a huge ripple effect.

Another time I use to park outside of a police station and wait for the officers to switch swifts. As one of them would leave to start their patrol, I would follow them. In my mind I was treating them as a suspect and was following them as if they were a “suspicious characters” up to no good. Needless to say that police officers don’t like to be followed. All of them, sooner or later, would pull into a parking lot or dead end street, stop and wait for me to “go about my business”. In hindsight, I’m surprised they never pulled me over for messing with them, but switching roles with “the man” was definitely different.

I like to approach panhandlers with a dollar out and in plain sight. They get excited to see the money and I like making them assume that it’s for them. I walk right up to them and ask if they can make change for a dollar. The mood of the scene changes faster than a woman right before her period. It’s pretty cool, (the panhandlers freaking out not PMS).

One Christmas morning, some friends of mine and I got dressed up in all kinds of weird fur coats and hats, sparkly, loud, jewelery, leather gloves and other odd garments of clothing at around seven in the morning. We then piled into the car and drove around looking for people. Surprisingly enough, there were a few people out jogging or walking, (on Christmas morning no doubt, talk about hating your family… errrr, I mean dedication). We’d pull over and politely say, “Excuse me, can you tell me how to find <blank>” and we’d ask for some near by town or even the town we were in. The answers and expressions was well worth the price of admission. My favorite was one couple that we asked for the town we were physically in at the moment and before it registered what I had said they were already moving their hands, pointing on where to go before catching and saying, “Hey…”

Some people might tell you that jumping out of an airplane, sticking your head inside an alligator’s mouth or “letting your mortgage payment ride” in Vegas is “living”. They make you think one has to be extreme to touch the virtues of a “real live”. Well, I think that’s rubbish. If you really want to go crazy, I can’t stop you, but I think you’ll find doing something small, like changing your perspective will make you see things in a whole new way.

I guess that last statement was pretty stupid, “…changing your perspective will make you see things in a whole new way.” Yeah, no shit Sherlock. All I’m saying is that I bet it’d be a lot harder to have your wife/husband/girlfriend/boyfriend/adult person friend push you around in a shopping cart the next time you go to Super-Ultra-Mart than parasailing. I even put money on you remembering the shopping cart incident long after the parasailing experience. Try it and tell me if I’m wrong.

Egg On!

Ramblin’ Rooster

Written by Ramblin' Rooster

November 1, 2008 at 4:47 am

If You Liked Revolving Door, You’ll Love Automatic Door

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This is a pseudo follow up to the piece I had about having fun in the revolving door. Whereas I stand by the statements I made, there is one door that is much more fun to play with. It would be the automatic door. Just so we’re clear, (or if you’d like to argue my name for it) the automatic door is the one usually found at grocery stores, where a person steps on the mat and the door opens automatically.

Quick disclaimer: These information is based on experiences had long ago. No one should try this at home. What’s that? Your home doesn’t have an automatic door? Well then you should try in a public place.

OK, so now that I’m liable and the lawsuits are piling up before this is even published, let’s go over the steps.

Step 1 – Pick a store that you don’t frequent and could accept being banned from.

Step 2 – Enter the store during a time that seems somewhere in between “the rush” and the time of “no one around”. (Note: You need innocent people to make this work)

Step 3 – Buy something at the store. People seem to pay less attention when you’re spending money and you’ll have a greater chance of being let go with a “firm talking to” if you were to caught.

Step 4 – On your way out the automatic door, pretend you’re stretching, yawning or just plain reach above your head. Above the door is a box, on the box is a switch, this switch controls the door’s power. Flip the switch.

Step 5 – Leave the immediate area, but stay within viewing sight of the door. If you’re a smoker, this is an excellent time to light up. If you’re not, pretend you’re on the phone, or as though you’re going over your receipt, (I like to add a confused face to drive home the impression I’m stupid and incapable of doing mischievous acts)

Step 6 – Stand and watch the people try to leave through the non-operable door.

Step 7 – Enjoy.

It really is amazing. Some people freak out and go to another door, thinking this one is broken. Others will get mad and push the door open. Some will walk into it. A few people will actually report the problem to an employee. It’s good fun, not too harmful and best of all it’s FREE. I guess you might be able to call it vandalism, but I bet you’d have a hard time getting a conviction in court.

Anyway, gotta a run. I’m late for a meeting with my parole officer.

Egg On!

Ramblin’ Rooster

Written by Ramblin' Rooster

October 15, 2008 at 4:07 am