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Revenge Set For Picnic

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This is part two of an ongoing story. Please read ‘I Fell Down and Hit My Head’ prior to reading this, (if you haven’t already).

 

I was a victim. I fell down and hit my head on a banana peel. A banana peel, for crying in the night! It was probably put there on purpose by on of my co-workers. Probably that bitch Sally. She and I have never gotten along, but it doesn’t matter who it was. Not really. My evil wheels have been churning all night and I have an idea about how to get even with all of them.

 

Not just any old idea, but a diabolical, rudimentary and simplistic plan of evil and chaos. A plan of secrecy, a plan that is sneaky, something that they’ll never be prepared for, something so perfect they won’t know what even hit them until it’s too late. It’s going to be awesome.

 

The company picnic is coming up in three weeks. Everyone is supposed to bring a main course, side dish, dessert of beverage. Everyone of course opts for the two liter so they don’t have to bring anything. Every year is the same, a store bought tub of potato salad, one of baked beans, couple bags of chips, a bucket of fried chicken, mashed potatoes and 37 two liters of diet soda. I hate diet pop by the way.

 

So I figured I’d make brownies. Everyone in my office is a whore for chocolate. They’d stab their mother in the eye to lick the bottom of the pan. I know if I bring a consumable of this nature they’ll be no one able to resist partaking. I’d better make a double batch. The only thing I’m not telling you is that I’m going to mix my batter with a generous portion of LSD.

 

THE DAY OF THE PICNIC

 

I’m terribly nervous. I can’t tell if it’s because of the anticipation of what I hope will be major human fireworks or the fact that I can’t wait to see these people freak out. This is my silly way of saying I want to see my plan in action! I put my brownies down on the table and went off in the corner by myself to wait it out.

 

Just as I expected, my fellow employees swarmed the deliciously moist fudge squares without even pretending to eat a main course. You’d think that chocolate was the only thing that kept them alive. Everyone scarfed down my brownies with some folks helping themselves to second and thirds, everyone except Mike that is. He’s diabetic, but come to think of it he’s never done wrong by me, so I guess it’s good he’s being spared.

 

Thirty minutes after the feeding frenzy, the show started to begin.

 

(to be continued tomorrow)

 

Egg On!

Ramblin’ Rooster

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Written by Ramblin' Rooster

April 23, 2009 at 4:59 am

Spare Change

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Spare Change

By Justice Noby

 

[I thought we’d take a break from the Ramblings of the Rooster and share with you a story that one of my friends wrote. I don’t particularly like this story or poem or whatever the heck it is, but I owed him money and couldn’t pay. This is what we worked out instead.]

 

The nickel is no longer shiny

The one I barely notice laying on the street because it’s so dull and dingy

It blends into the old and faded concrete as if to punish itself for being discarded

I wonder what happened to it

Why was it thrown away, discarded, abandoned

I turn the nickel to view both sides, an unproductive, useless habit of mine

I note the year and read the inscriptions

“In God We Trust”… maybe

“Liberty*1992”… this nickel isn’t even a teenager yet

“E PLURIBUS UNIM”… whatever the hell that means

Funny how people are all irate about people speaking Spanish and here’s Latin, a dead language mind you, on the most precious of all American possessions

“MONTICELLO”… is that the name of this building? I thought it was like the Jefferson monument… man, am I ever stupid

How does something of value become wasted?

It might not be of much value, but it’s valued all the same

And someone thought nothing more of it than garbage

Or perhaps they merely dropped it

Even so, it meant not even putting forth the effort of bending over to retrieve it

Oh well, it’s mine now

Who cares you say?

Think of throwing a nickel away for every dollar you earn

Not so insignificant now is it

So I take the nickel

Not for building wealth

But because I dislike wastefulness

And I hate to see a lonely nickel

 

[I told ya…]

 

Egg On!

Ramblin’ Rooster

Written by Ramblin' Rooster

January 23, 2009 at 6:43 am