Sunday's drive up your blog… with Ramblin' Rooster

The official blog of

Julia Roberts

with 6 comments

I’m in love with Julia Robert’s teeth.
I want to marry her left canine.
I’m unsure if marrying all her teeth would count as bigamy and I’m afraid to ask.
I’d polish and buff that beautiful tooth every four hours, (or as needed).
We’d walk the red carpet, (in my hallway, not Hollywood).
We’d laugh, we’d sing, we’d carry on all night long.
I’d be indifferent to all the stares and my lovely tooth-wife would be indifferent to all the stairs, (’cause she’d ride along in my breast pocket).
I guess that means I’d have to buy shirts that have a breast pocket.
Carrying her in my pants pocket is just a little too much, (if you know what I mean).
I don’t know… that right central incisor is pretty hot too.

Egg On,

Ramblin’ Rooster

-Ramble me Rooster-

The answer to last week’s riddle was Bob Reynolds, but it doesn’t matter now ’cause he was killed by the newly reformed ‘Avengers’. So CLT, (with that whop ’em answer) gets the fabulous vacation prize package worth over eight million dollars, (available right after the demurrage of “some” amount is secured, sorry no COD).

Tonight’s trivia question:

What is Norman Osborn’s hair suppose to be, seriously?

Submit you’re answer as a comment for the chance to win fabulous make-believe prizes and come back next Sunday for the answer. Good luck!

6 Responses

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  1. I’d have an easier time with Stonehenge than Norman Osborn’s hair.


    May 18, 2010 at 4:55 am

  2. A pet?

    Who’s Norman Osborn? Does he share hair with Donald Trump?

    Claire Collins

    May 18, 2010 at 1:47 pm

  3. Ok…..that is just weird.

    Now, on to Norman Osborn….his hair is supposed to be spaghetti.


    May 19, 2010 at 3:11 pm

  4. Yay! Prize money! Which after demurrage comes to… $18.50. Oh, well.

    I loved the post, Rooster. It had one of those very demented takes on everyday life that I’ve grown fond of after several drinks. I’d help you out. I really would.

    I mean, the lips are kind of a problem as they’re all over the place, but I think a well-timed right jab would knock one loose.

    Of course, this would probably set off some sort of shitstorm of legal culpability, but that’s what friends do for friends. Small favors.

    Like carry a bag thru customs. Or do five-to-ten at Lompoc Correctional Facility with their head down and their mouth shut.

    As for Osborn’s hair? I think it’s supposed to be some sort of personification of greed, like Michael Douglas in Wall Street. Or Micheal Douglas in Wall Street 2.

    (But definitely not Shia LeBouf in Wall Street 2. Someone is going to need to break the news that acting in a movie about Wall Street does not actually make you a Wall Street robber-baron. He seems to be ridiculously unclear on this. I wouldn’t be surprised in the least if he unveiled a 10-step plan to defend yourself from transforming robots, based on his own experiences.)

    Capitalist Lion Tamer

    May 22, 2010 at 3:26 am

  5. God damn, this reminds me of the Rooster of old! Wait, you have red carpet in your hallway? Or is that just a metaphor that will cause me to throw up in my mouth when I connect the freckles…?

    I enjoy your poetry and I would pay good money to sit in a dark club, shoot heroin and listen to you wax poetic while nodding in and out. The money would mostly go towards the smack but I assume you’d get a cut of the ‘door’ or the ‘heroin.’

    I had to google this Norman and from what I’ve read I believe that his hair is made from the skin of Arian babies and the tears of angels. Wealthy angels.

    Scott Oglesby

    May 23, 2010 at 7:58 am

  6. Did Scott drag you off the grid with him? Or are you just resting up for some sort of triumphant return that will involve something akin to the Cirque de Soleil meets the UFC in a shark-filled tank full of sharks and bikinied coeds. And free booze.

    I’m hoping it’s the second part.

    Capitalist Lion Tamer

    June 2, 2010 at 2:02 am

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