Fighting Temptation To Punch You When I Talk

You think that title is long; you should have seen what I wanted to call it, “Fighting temptation to punch you square in the face when I hear the annoying sounds you make while I talk”. So be grateful they made me condense it. This whole blog could have been the title. Maybe it should be, maybe I should stop right here, but you know I can’t.

 

I’ve always been an advocate for communication. I agree with leading experts that communication is the key for… well… communicating I guess. Anyway, there are to gigantic pet peeves I have during the conversation process. You might think that they are of a grammatical nature or something that shows the ignorance of the speaker, but you’d be wrong. Don’t worry, I laugh at you in my head, but I don’t judge you. It doesn’t bother me if you say, “He ain’t got no nothin’ to showed me.” We can still be friends. That’s just you and how you speak. Now here is where I contradict myself.

 

The first one I hate is “m’kay”. The long “M” sound followed by the “K” from OK. Why would anyone want to make a conjunction out of “mm” and OK? It turns every sentence into a question. This has been played out like ‘Stairway to Heaven’ or ‘Hotel California’ on the radio. Every cartoon show has at least one character that ends every sentence with “m’kay”. It’s been over exposed, over used and what was once funny is now a source of disappointment. So when I meet someone in real life that uses “m’kay” as a real part of their speech patterns, I must admit, it drives me crazy and I want to hurt them. I honestly see red. I can’t think of anything more annoying or ridiculous. Except…

 

When people intermittently inject “um-hm” while you’re talking, this is an automatic death sentence. How can you be agreeing with me before I finish me sentence? How can you be agreeing with me without a question even being asked?

 

“So I went to the store…”

“Um-hm.”

“…to buy some milk.”

“Um-hm.”

“And I saw this girl working there…”

“Um-hm.”

“…that I used to go to school with.”

“Um-hm.”

 

It’s completely irrational, illogical, irresponsible and “the bringer of the end of days”.

 

The only way to make these horrible habits of speech worse is to be a bystander of them. Rather than being engaged in the conversation you have to listen to people actually talking to each other in this manner. If you got a “m’kay guy” together with a “um-hm guy” we would all get to meet the Devil, because Armageddon would have commenced. I guess in actuality, they’d be a perfect match. So I guess I’ll see you in Hell.

 

There’s a lot that I can tolerate, but there are some things I can’t, m-kay?

 

Egg On (um-hm)!

Ramblin’ Rooster