Marriage Shmarraige

I was communicating with a friend of mine via e-mail today and he really got me thinking. About marriage of all things and kind of God and society too, but I’m just making a mess. Let me start from the beginning.

 

My friend’s original question was if my “reverendship” was legitimate. What’s that? You didn’t know I was a card carrying reverend? That’s right, from now on call me Reverend Roosta! Truth is I was ordained over the internet by filling out a form. I did it so that I could marry my brother, (to his girlfriend you sickos!).

 

Anyway, I was telling my friend that I don’t really consider myself a reverend or a “man of the cloth” because anyone with ten minutes to spare and internet access can become “ordained”. This all somehow led into the topic of marriage and how society views or forms opinions about marriage.

 

My friend… OK, I’m tired of using “my friend” so as always, playing the part of my friend is none other than John Doe. Back to the story…

 

John started saying to me that he was offended by the fact that anyone could marry a couple and that it took away from the sanctity of the holy institution. John went on to volunteer that marriage is sacred, that it’s a public promise to God, (and apparently anyone who’s watching) that you’re “swearing” vows. It’s this “public promise” that gives accountability to the relationship. “Why don’t you guys get divorced?” “I’d hate for the neighbors to think I was a quitter.” I guess…

 

John felt that if “any yahoo with twenty bucks could get a license to marry people off” that it somehow cheapened the experience. Only a scholar blessed with higher faith had the right to join people in holy matrimony.

 

My response was that I never really thought of marriage as such things. I’ve always thought of it as an agreement between two people, kind of like a contract. If certain clauses are violated the contract is null and void. If the party of the first part and the party of the second part decide that it’s time to revise or dissolve the contract so be it. I don’t think marriage should be taken lightly or done on a whim and I’m not an advocate for overnight divorce, but people change and circumstance can be extenuating. Basically I couldn’t care less if you marry and divorce one hundred times, it’s when kids get involved that I think it’s incredible selfish to bail.

 

The conversation took a quick nose dive after that and the e-mails ended. It did make me think though, about the fast food mentality of modern marriage. Divorce is so common that I wonder if people who get divorced even consider it, (or themselves) a failure. Most marriages throw in the fine print of “for better or for worse”, but once the worse rolls in the better gets packin’, (or something like that). There was a ‘Non-Sequitur’, (an awesome comic strip by Wiley Miller if you’re not hip) that was a couple getting married with the man saying, “I promise to love, honor and cherish till death do us part or until I get bored” (I’m butchering it, but it’s been like ten years since I read it. You get the point though). People are pretty much willing to get divorced over conflict involving control of the remote.

 

It’s kind of like when my mother told me that when she was a kid that a child’s worse fear was to disappoint their parents. I couldn’t understand where she was really coming from, because I didn’t feel the same way.

 

All I’m saying is that if you get married I hope you love the person you’re marrying and are prepared to come to terms with wanting to kill them without losing your love. How you feel at the beginning and how you feel after ten years are going to be completely different. Prepare as needed.

 

Also I’d be happy to marry you, (perform the services, gah!) for $20.

 

Egg On!

Ramblin’ Rooster