E-Mail of Malevolent Intent

When I worked at the corporate office of the company that employs me, I locked my computer station pretty much every time I got up from my desk. The reason was simple; we had a lot of comic geniuses floating around. When I relocated to the branch office, which as you remember is very small and completely lifeless I got out of the habit. What could happen with a bunch of zombies laying around, right?

 

Well today I was out of the office all afternoon and I left my computer on. When I got back to the office I discovered that a certain someone had been bitten by the “life-bug” and took it upon them self to play a little practical joke on me. What’s the best way to prank someone when you have full access to their computer? Send a perverse and highly homosexual e-mail to your boss of course. Here is a copy of that e-mail. To protect the innocent and victimized, all names have been changed. For the sake of clarity, the part of my boss will be played by none other than the world renowned Mr. Smith.

 

Mr. Smith,

 

It occurred to me as I strolled through my lavishly styled motor home last night, wearing my silk robe, flipping through a vintage issue of Boys Life, that we have never officially consummated our relationship with some good ol’ man on man love.

 

I don’t know how you feel about the whole gay love movement, but let me reassure you that it’s quite wonderful. If you are afraid or apprehensive, let me ease your mind, (and hopefully the rest of your body) by telling you that I am as gentle as I am thorough. Many years ago I was in the orient on a vacation of pleasure. The techniques I learned would soothe a full grown tiger, so imagine what they could do for you.

 

I apologize if this is coming at you as a shock, but you should know that I like to be straight forward and forthcoming in all of my endeavors.

 

I hope to hear from you soon as I find it more and more difficult to be in such close quarters with you day after day. I think you’re feeling what I’m feeling…

 

All my love and then some,

Ramblin’ Rooster

 

Needless to say my boss was not impressed and thankfully knew that I had not written it. Although no harm was done a new grudge has been formed and alliances have shifted.

 

Remember to lock your computer before leaving it unattended.

 

Egg On!

Ramblin’ Rooster